Blurb:
Being a zombie counselor was not Rose Lee’s dream
job. However, there was a growing need
for people who were willing to work with clients that smelled bad, were falling
apart, and had a propensity for bad behavior.
She decided to put her college degree to work, and try to help out her
fellow man, or rather fellow zombies.
When Rose meets a soon-to-be zombie waitress at the
Crispy Biscuit, things go from bad to worse.
She has run-ins with zombie landlords, zombie hunters, undercover
zombies and mercenaries, just to name a few.
Rose tackles all of her problems straight on,
whether she is taking out a thug in the supermarket parking lot or saving a
cop’s life at the playground. She
battles the dark underbelly of post-apocalypse Hornellsville, and proves that
she is more than just a pretty girl named after a famous stripper.
I give I Dream Of Zombies a five star review. Rose is a strong, fun character who cares about helping zombies. This story has action, mystery, and romance. Thanks, Charlotte, for a good read.
Excerpt:
“Welcome to the Crispy Biscuit,” a nasal female
voice said over the intercom. “Can I interest you in a Deluxe Chicken and
Cheese breakfast biscuit?”
“No, thanks.
Give me a brown sugar biscuit with marmalade and a large Lava Java with
two creams and two sugars please,” I said.
“Does that complete your order?” the voice asked.
“Yep, that’ll do it,” I said.
“Please pull ahead to the first window,” she said.
I did as instructed and rounded the corner with my
1990 Cadillac Brougham. It was a gift
from my father. I’m not sure if it was
really a gift, or rather his way of getting rid of the biggest, gas-guzzling
vehicle he’d ever owned. I had named the
car Beulah.
I maneuvered up to the window, being careful not to
hit the concrete pylon next to the service window. Not because it would hurt my car, but rather
because the car would probably take a chunk out of the pylon.
Eight feet of car hood later, the driver’s side
window finally lined up with the service window. “Five-o-five please,” the cashier said. I handed her the money and was a little
shocked when she almost dumped my order into my lap through the window. “Sorry”, she said, her cheeks turning a deep
shade of scarlet.
“That’s okay, it is that kind of day,” I said,
trying to reassure her with a smile. It
never hurt to be nice to the workers at the Crispy Biscuit. Every once in a while they gave me an extra
biscuit, and who was I to complain?
I noticed her hands as she went back to work. I could have sworn there were the familiar
quarter-sized brown patches on the tops of her hands. I must have looked a little too long because
the girl suddenly pulled the window shut, shot me the stink eye, and turned her
back to me.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know what those
patches were – zombie disease. If that
were true, all it would take to do the poor creature in was a whiff of pepper
and BAM! A very sticky, and somewhat
messy, end.
I was torn between pulling into a parking space and
running in to alert her manager or continuing on my drive to the jail. I didn’t relish the thought of doing either;
in one case the poor girl may be sent away to live out her life in a zombie
asylum, and in the other, I had to figure out whether my client was worth the
time and effort of sitting through a court hearing.
Life used to be so much easier before the ZA.
A sense of duty won out, since I’m required by law
to report this kind of thing. I pulled
Beulah into a tight parking space and disembarked. Luckily I had worn one of my sensible suits
to work today and didn’t have to navigate the pot-hole filled parking lot in
high heels.
I entered the restaurant and stood in line, waiting
for my chance to speak with the manager.
The hostess greeted me after a few moments.
“Just one today?” she asked.
“No, I’m not staying,” I said. “I just have a quick
question for the manager. Is he or she
in?”
“Let me check, hon.
I’ll be right back,” she said.
I watched her walk away from me, her plump body
crammed into a short yellow dress. A
starched white apron hemmed with lace helped to cover some of the bulges in
front, but from behind it didn’t help her at all. I gave a sigh and felt instantly sorry for
her. She probably didn’t make much
money, and the management was probably a little too cheap to buy uniforms that
fit everyone, especially the more curvy girls.
She returned a few minutes later with a rather
unhappy-looking man with a bad comb over.
I could feel my stomach clench looking at him. I didn’t like dealing with surly people,
especially this early in the morning.
“What can I do for you mam?” he asked in a weak,
raspy voice, probably a result from chain smoking. I had a hard time looking away from him. His skin had an odd, oily appearance and he
had purple circles under his eyes. His
lips had a bluish cast to them; a candidate for a heart attack if I ever did
see one.
“Um,” I stammered. “I think one of your waitresses
may be sick.”
He narrowed his eyes and stared at me. “Who is sick?” he asked, a little more loudly
than was necessary.
“I think the girl who waited on me at the drive thru
is a little under the weather, if you know what I mean,” I said. I would have given the proverbial wink-wink
to him, but I was afraid that he would misunderstand the signal.
“No, I don’t know what you mean,” he said
curtly. “Explain,” he said, even more
loudly than before.
I was beginning to feel uncomfortable and regretting
my decision to come into the restaurant.
There was no turning back now, however, so I plowed ahead.
“I noticed that your waitress has brown spots on the
tops of her hands. I don’t need to tell
you what that is a sign of, do I? The last
thing you need is a horrific accident in your restaurant, right? You know what happens when a zombie gets
around pepper.”
The situation was beginning to sink in with the
manager, and he looked at the floor. He
nodded and then said, “I’ll look into it.”
He abruptly turned on his heel and walked away from me. I turned and was about to leave the store
when I saw my car pulling out of the parking space without me.
I ran towards the front door of the store, and just
then the waitress from the drive thru turned and gave a little wave from the
driver’s side of my car. “Holy cheese
and crackers!” I yelled. “She stole my
car!”
Other patrons who were enjoying their breakfast
biscuits stopped eating and looked up at me.
“She stole my car!” I yelled again, pointing at the door.
I turned and looked at the restaurant patrons around
me, half wondering if anyone was going to help me. Most of them just went back to eating, though
a few looked at me expectantly for a moment or two before they also returned to
their breakfasts.
If nothing else, people in Hornellsville were a calm
lot.
Buy Links:
CreateSpace - https://www.createspace.com/4376850
Author Bio:
Charlotte Gerber began her writing career after
becoming disabled in 2004. Since then
she has been a writer and editor for LoveToKnow.com, and most recently covering
disability issues for the New York Times on their About.com website.
Murder in Middleton, the story of a psychic teenager
trying to solve a century’s old murder mystery, was her first book. I Dream of Zombies, the story of Rose Lee, a
zombie social worker, will be released on Halloween this year.
A holiday novella, A Very Merry Middleton Christmas,
is scheduled for release during the holiday season this year. Curiosity Killed the Cat, a murder mystery,
is scheduled for release in 2014.
Author Links:
Website – http://www.charlottegerber.com
Twitter – https://twitter.com/gerberink
Giveaway Info:
One lucky winner will win a $25 Amazon or Barnes and
Noble (Winner's Choice) gift card! Enter through Rafflecopter. The giveaway
starts 11/14/13 and ends 12/13/13 at 12 AM, Eastern Time.
a Rafflecopter giveaway
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